Well, this may not be a great post to start 2013 with.. but that doesn’t deter me from writing facts slaying misconceptions.
How did I end up choosing this topic?
It’s new year, and there is fireworks going all around.. while I’m working on some stuff from my apartment(call me loner, heartbroken, unsocial.. whatever), reading couple of gaming articles, etc., when a notification of a bike ride pops up.
Bikers in my city are group riding to create awareness and change of attitude about women. (probably the aftermath of recent Delhi Gang rape case where the victim died in hospital undergoing treatment)
Real Men Don’t Rape.
I personally believe you don’t have a right to force your wife/girlfriend/partner to have sex with you.
And yes, that’s law too.. I read so later.
I googled around to see what the Law is doing with the culprits in this case. I personally recommend a brutal punishment.
My heart goes out to the victim of this and any rape case. The brutal nature of this particular one and some others in past have sent shivers down my spine just by reading about it.
One thing led to another and I landed on a forum post, where a man shares that he was “sexually assaulted” by a woman who was his guest and he is in split minds whether to report this to the police or keep quiet.. as already his friends acclaimed that “he got lucky” or “he wanted it to happen” and that was hurting him emotionally.
Of the people who replied on that post, only less than 2% were empathizing with him and giving him a suggestion(to get HIV tests done + report to police), while rest of 98% posed questions like “How can that even be possible”, “You did it”, “How can a woman overpower a man unless she is a wrestler”, and “How did she put it in if you didn’t want to” etc., and so forth.
What about Male Abuse?
Fun? Socially Acceptable?
Or educatedly unbelievable?
My blood pressure literally shot up reading the comments of those dim-wits.
On one end, you will empathize if that happened to a woman, and on the other you make fun of it when it happens to a man?
Why this double-standard?!
The answer stuck me… they don’t question; they don’t deviate from what is taught in books or in School. These must be the guys who never questioned How, Why, and When of stuff that they learnt in school.. be it any subject.
Surely, there was a subject on biology/reproduction in junior high/senior high. So what if you didn’t pursue a medical career?… it wasn’t written in textbooks that a woman cannot rape a man.. how did you assume thats true then? Because you never came across it? or may be you never bothered to read anything out side of textbooks/harrypotter/twilight.
Ever picked up a copy of any book that increases your knowledge of science/nature? .. rather than Twilight and Puppy love stories.
And then I wondered, as to, how many people could I be knowing on facebook who shared the Delhi Gang rape news, how many people who blogged about it, tweeted about it, rallied, fought with police, empathized with the girl (which is all good), want severe punishment for the culprits (good again, I want that too) .. but “THINK” that a woman “CANNOT” rape a man?
It’d be a real facepalm moment for me if I came to know in future that I did associate with people who hold such double-standards.
So this is how I arrive at this post. I will simply paste what I replied in that forum.
If you are in my friends list, but are in “How is it possible?” gang of people ..
This serves as an knowledge share – since I believe not everyone is supposed to know everything by default.. but then facts should be shared to help.
*This is a paste of my reply on that thread*
I don't know how I ended up on this thread, but wanted to reply anyway.
Some ask how a woman can "sexually assault" a man...I'll answer them first:
Get your seat belts on, this is gonna be a ride :X
1. Woman overpowering man.
Ans. Can be done. Generally men keep their guard down when it comes to women.
Many other factors such as surprise of a woman attacking a man or getting into a brawl not being common for the man... or woman really being powerful in a fit of rage/lust.
2. Why didnt the man fight back?
a. because it was a woman and its confusing / shocking and b. its shocking that you'd expect a lady guest to sexually assault you
c. Bcos if it was a dude, a man would probably punch fist into his jaw.. but if he did the same for a woman.. he is asking for more trouble legally.
3. How can a woman sexually assault?
Ans. You gotta be kidding me right? A sexual assault is not necessarily penetration sex.. it can be forced kissing, grabbing private parts or pulling the man in to take sexual favors on her private parts/body.
4. How can a woman rape? I don't believe it.
Ans. Medically, Just like a woman's body is prone to react to penetration during rape, by secreting vaginal lubricating fluids, allowing penetration to be less painful; doesnt mean she is allowing the rape....similarly even a man can get an erection, even if lets say his privates were being forcibly stimulated.
There could be numerous reasons including that the man may actually be into BSDM in his normal life.. but then THAT doesn't make him consenting to the rape.
His body is reacting, but his mind could still be not wanting it.
You can compare this to scenarios between 2 lovers where in either 1. a male is having sex with his female.. even though he is not in mood, just to satisfy her.. and so ends up not reaching climax.. where as the female reaches climax. or 2. a female not in mood for sex, being stimulated by her male partner and she lubricates and gives in.. could as well as end up having climax.
Just because you have no knowledge of how human body works biologically, doesn't mean that it cannot happen.
It only means you have very little knowledge; doesn't change the way nature works human body.
*End of my reply on that thread*
Need more proof?.. like a news article/medical journal? .. since you might be thinking what does this guy know? In that case please use google/search engines. There are cases.. there is medical explanation (which is complex form of how I answered that forum), there are women who have been jailed for it.
I didn’t have to google to write up this post(except the images I put in this post) because, I have grown up questioning everything that intrigued me, before I can mark things off as logical/illogical.
I spent my school/college years offending my teachers by asking them “Why can’t it be this way.. since ..blah blah my theory about why it can be done another way”.
I keep my mind open to receiving knowledge and I read about stuff, science, nature and how things happen/do not happen rather than being in denial of anything that I haven’t heard earlier.
So for friends who just corrected their double standard after reading this.. or friends who didn’t have one to start with.. you have my respect for using your brains.
And people/friends who are probably laughing at this post, or not willing to accept a fact and correct your unintended/intended double standard.. then please feel free to “unfriend” me.
I don’t like to keep company of people who can laugh at someone’s suffering.