krish – 起死回生 [Wake up from death & return to life.]

October 9, 2013

14 things to never do after a fight

Filed under: Society — krish @ 4:52 pm
Tags: , , , , , ,

http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/10-things-never-fight-162700130.html

Well, 10 are mentioned in the link given above ^

and here’s the rest from my side

11. Don’t walk out of the house and go live in someone’s house who might have sexually abused you in the past.

12. Dont’ go and make friends with the boys/men/girls/woman who tried flirting with you and whom he/she was trying to fend away.

13. Don’t go and live with people who were responsible for the fight in the first place (by means of talking behind backs and using reverse psychology.. which is very common used by parents on their children and elder siblings on their younger)
And specially don’t use them as a wall of protection if he/she wants to talk to you after a fight.
It only means that you trust his/her backstabbers more than you trust him.

14. Don’t insult him/her with ‘words’ that he specifically worked hard in a relationship to ‘not hear’ in life. Like
a. “So you think I am your maid” (when he specifically tried a ton of times to make you not do the household work and get you interested in doing something you like or on your career… but you first chose to be a household work horse against his will and then dump the blame on him)

b. “You’re parents are/were so poor” … which has nothing to do with you. Unless he is making you pay for their stuff.
And if he ain’t, and especially if he is taking care of you and ensuring that you don’t spend a dime on the anything (either because you can’t, or because deep inside you dont want to, or because he knows some women can only blow a trumpet of wanting to be independent… but they want man to pay the bills always) .. then the bank balance of his parents is none of your concern.
He is taking care of your livelihood.. if anything, then his bank balance should matter to you if he cannot feed you. (not his parents wealth status)

Advertisements

January 1, 2013

Can a woman rape a man? Is it time to cut down my facebook friends’ list?

Well, this may not be a great post to start 2013 with.. but that doesn’t deter me from writing facts slaying misconceptions.

How did I end up choosing this topic?
It’s new year, and there is fireworks going all around.. while I’m working on some stuff from my apartment(call me loner, heartbroken, unsocial.. whatever), reading couple of gaming articles, etc., when a notification of a bike ride  pops up.
Bikers in my city are group riding to create awareness and change of attitude about women. (probably the aftermath of recent Delhi Gang rape case where the victim died in hospital undergoing treatment)

Real Men Don't Rape. Very True. I personally believe you shouldn't even force your wife/girlfriend to have sex with you.

Real Men Don’t Rape.
Very True.
I personally believe you don’t have a right to force your wife/girlfriend/partner to have sex with you.
And yes, that’s law too.. I read so later.

I googled around to see what the Law is doing with the culprits in this case. I personally recommend a brutal punishment.
My heart goes out to the victim of this and any rape case. The brutal nature of this particular one and some others in past have sent shivers down my spine just by reading about it.
One thing led to another and I landed on a forum post, where a man shares that he was “sexually assaulted” by a woman who was his guest and he is in split minds whether to report this to the police or keep quiet.. as already his friends acclaimed that “he got lucky” or “he wanted it to happen” and that was hurting him emotionally.

Of the people who replied on that post, only less than 2% were empathizing with him and giving him a suggestion(to get HIV tests done + report to police), while rest of 98% posed questions like “How can that even be possible”, “You did it”, “How can a woman overpower a man unless she is a wrestler”, and “How did she put it in if you didn’t want to” etc., and so forth.

What about Male Abuse? Fun?  Socially Acceptable? Or educatedly unbelievable?

What about Male Abuse?
Fun? Socially Acceptable?
Or educatedly unbelievable?

My blood pressure literally shot up reading the comments of those dim-wits.
On one end, you will empathize if that happened to a woman, and on the other you make fun of it when it happens to a man?

Why this double-standard?!

The answer stuck me… they don’t question; they don’t deviate from what is taught in books or in School. These must be the guys who never questioned How, Why, and When of stuff that they learnt in school.. be it any subject.
Surely, there was a subject on biology/reproduction in junior high/senior high. So what if you didn’t pursue a medical career?… it wasn’t written in textbooks that a woman cannot rape a man.. how did you assume thats true then? Because you never came across it? or may be you never bothered to read anything out side of textbooks/harrypotter/twilight.

Ever picked up a copy of any book that increases your knowledge of science/nature? .. rather than Twilight and Puppy love stories.

Ever picked up a copy of any book that increases your knowledge of science/nature? .. rather than Twilight and Puppy love stories.

And then I wondered, as to, how many people could I be knowing on facebook who shared the Delhi Gang rape news, how many people who blogged about it, tweeted about it, rallied, fought with police, empathized with the girl (which is all good), want severe punishment for the culprits (good again, I want that too) .. but “THINK” that a woman “CANNOT” rape a man?
It’d be a real facepalm moment for me if I came to know in future that I did associate with people who hold such double-standards.

So this is how I arrive at this post. I will simply paste what I replied in that forum.
If you are in my friends list, but are in “How is it possible?” gang of people ..
This serves as an knowledge share – since I believe not everyone is supposed to know everything by default.. but then facts should be shared to help.


*This is a paste of my reply on that thread*

I don't know how I ended up on this thread, but wanted to reply anyway.

Some ask how a woman can "sexually assault" a man...I'll answer them first:

Get your seat belts on, this is gonna be a ride :X

1. Woman overpowering man.
Ans. Can be done. Generally men keep their guard down when it comes to women.
Many other factors such as surprise of a woman attacking a man or getting into a brawl not being common for the man... or woman really being powerful in a fit of rage/lust.

2. Why didnt the man fight back?
Ans.
a. because it was a woman and its confusing / shocking and b. its shocking that you'd expect a lady guest to sexually assault you
c. Bcos if it was a dude, a man would probably punch fist into his jaw.. but if he did the same for a woman.. he is asking for more trouble legally.

3. How can a woman sexually assault?
Ans. You gotta be kidding me right? A sexual assault is not necessarily penetration sex.. it can be forced kissing, grabbing private parts or pulling the man in to take sexual favors on her private parts/body.

4. How can a woman rape? I don't believe it.
Ans. Medically, Just like a woman's body is prone to react to penetration during rape, by secreting vaginal lubricating fluids, allowing penetration to be less painful; doesnt mean she is allowing the rape....similarly even a man can get an erection, even if lets say his privates were being forcibly stimulated.
There could be numerous reasons including that the man may actually be into BSDM in his normal life.. but then THAT doesn't make him consenting to the rape.
His body is reacting, but his mind could still be not wanting it.
You can compare this to scenarios between 2 lovers where in either 1. a male is having sex with his female.. even though he is not in mood, just to satisfy her.. and so ends up not reaching climax.. where as the female reaches climax. or 2. a female not in mood for sex, being stimulated by her male partner and she lubricates and gives in.. could as well as end up having climax.

Just because you have no knowledge of how human body works biologically, doesn't mean that it cannot happen.
It only means you have very little knowledge; doesn't change the way nature works human body.

*End of my reply on that thread*

Need more proof?.. like a news article/medical journal? .. since you might be thinking what does this guy know? In that case please use google/search engines. There are cases.. there is medical explanation (which is complex form of how I answered that forum), there are women who have been jailed for it.

I didn’t have to google to write up this post(except the images I put in this post) because, I have grown up questioning everything that intrigued me, before I can mark things off as logical/illogical.
I spent my school/college years offending my teachers by asking them “Why can’t it be this way.. since ..blah blah my theory about why it can be done another way”.
I keep my mind open to receiving knowledge and I read about stuff, science, nature and how things happen/do not happen rather than being in denial of anything that I haven’t heard earlier.

So for friends who just corrected their double standard after reading this.. or friends who didn’t have one to start with.. you have my respect for using your brains.

And people/friends who are probably laughing at this post, or not willing to accept a fact and correct your unintended/intended double standard.. then please feel free to “unfriend” me.
I don’t like to keep company of people who can laugh at someone’s suffering.

November 1, 2012

On Hurricane Sandy Storm

Filed under: Society — krish @ 6:28 am
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Just another day, finished work like an hour ago and still dealing with sleep deprivation as usual.
Don’t ask how I got this sleep deprivation .. one of the gifts that come with a broken heart… as if that pain isn’t enough.

So generally, we’d have a powercut at 0600.. which I notice didn’t happen yesterday too and again today.
Should be happy thing right? Well guess what.. stupid ISP went down around that time now.
Now what use is a computer without internet?
Anyway, committed my code from desktop using a 3G data card… and took out the laptop to watch the sunrise while I listen to music (current track: Naa Jaane kyun – Strings) and write this blog post.

The sun hasn’t come up yet.. strange! .. and its very Windy (been this way all night.) .. there is no concentrate of Sun rays.. just deep blue sky. Didn’t get the camera along.. else could have been a pic in the blog.

Hurricane Sandy!

This reminds me of people hit in the Sandy hurricane storm that’s going on.. and about now in India a cyclone (named Nilam) is expected to hit the shores of AP and TN states.
In turn, that reminds me of visually challenged kids I was teaching a month/two ago (as part of SCF). Subject was “Disaster Management”.
It’s pretty difficult to make them understand how a flood/hurricane would look.. especially the ones that are deprived of eyesight by birth. 😦

I wish strength and fast recovery to affected people in Sandy Hurricane and the ones that are going to be affected at Indian coasts.

Guess people living in cities where I am will never know how painful it is to be situations of natural disasters .. here people are happy with their disgusting lives that is filled with craving for more, shaping their homes with ill-gotten money, disrupting others’ lives and calling themselves big. Pathetic Living.

Blog at WordPress.com.

The Male Factor

#1 Site For Research on Men and Boys

Rough Draft

by Atteris Amarth and Darrek Ringo

The Kochi Post.

Read by all + Influenced by none

JumboMake

A signature of Kiran

SAAYAM CHEDDAM FOUNDATION

This blog is just for additional and extension share of it's main frames. No activity is planned from here

krish - 起死回生 [Wake up from death & return to life.]

Get a sneak peek into krish's life, work and passion.

WordPress.com

WordPress.com is the best place for your personal blog or business site.

A Tale of Two and a Half

Monika Amita Bakshi

%d bloggers like this: