krish – 起死回生 [Wake up from death & return to life.]

January 1, 2013

Can a woman rape a man? Is it time to cut down my facebook friends’ list?

Well, this may not be a great post to start 2013 with.. but that doesn’t deter me from writing facts slaying misconceptions.

How did I end up choosing this topic?
It’s new year, and there is fireworks going all around.. while I’m working on some stuff from my apartment(call me loner, heartbroken, unsocial.. whatever), reading couple of gaming articles, etc., when a notification of a bike ride  pops up.
Bikers in my city are group riding to create awareness and change of attitude about women. (probably the aftermath of recent Delhi Gang rape case where the victim died in hospital undergoing treatment)

Real Men Don't Rape. Very True. I personally believe you shouldn't even force your wife/girlfriend to have sex with you.

Real Men Don’t Rape.
Very True.
I personally believe you don’t have a right to force your wife/girlfriend/partner to have sex with you.
And yes, that’s law too.. I read so later.

I googled around to see what the Law is doing with the culprits in this case. I personally recommend a brutal punishment.
My heart goes out to the victim of this and any rape case. The brutal nature of this particular one and some others in past have sent shivers down my spine just by reading about it.
One thing led to another and I landed on a forum post, where a man shares that he was “sexually assaulted” by a woman who was his guest and he is in split minds whether to report this to the police or keep quiet.. as already his friends acclaimed that “he got lucky” or “he wanted it to happen” and that was hurting him emotionally.

Of the people who replied on that post, only less than 2% were empathizing with him and giving him a suggestion(to get HIV tests done + report to police), while rest of 98% posed questions like “How can that even be possible”, “You did it”, “How can a woman overpower a man unless she is a wrestler”, and “How did she put it in if you didn’t want to” etc., and so forth.

What about Male Abuse? Fun?  Socially Acceptable? Or educatedly unbelievable?

What about Male Abuse?
Fun? Socially Acceptable?
Or educatedly unbelievable?

My blood pressure literally shot up reading the comments of those dim-wits.
On one end, you will empathize if that happened to a woman, and on the other you make fun of it when it happens to a man?

Why this double-standard?!

The answer stuck me… they don’t question; they don’t deviate from what is taught in books or in School. These must be the guys who never questioned How, Why, and When of stuff that they learnt in school.. be it any subject.
Surely, there was a subject on biology/reproduction in junior high/senior high. So what if you didn’t pursue a medical career?… it wasn’t written in textbooks that a woman cannot rape a man.. how did you assume thats true then? Because you never came across it? or may be you never bothered to read anything out side of textbooks/harrypotter/twilight.

Ever picked up a copy of any book that increases your knowledge of science/nature? .. rather than Twilight and Puppy love stories.

Ever picked up a copy of any book that increases your knowledge of science/nature? .. rather than Twilight and Puppy love stories.

And then I wondered, as to, how many people could I be knowing on facebook who shared the Delhi Gang rape news, how many people who blogged about it, tweeted about it, rallied, fought with police, empathized with the girl (which is all good), want severe punishment for the culprits (good again, I want that too) .. but “THINK” that a woman “CANNOT” rape a man?
It’d be a real facepalm moment for me if I came to know in future that I did associate with people who hold such double-standards.

So this is how I arrive at this post. I will simply paste what I replied in that forum.
If you are in my friends list, but are in “How is it possible?” gang of people ..
This serves as an knowledge share – since I believe not everyone is supposed to know everything by default.. but then facts should be shared to help.

*This is a paste of my reply on that thread*

I don't know how I ended up on this thread, but wanted to reply anyway.

Some ask how a woman can "sexually assault" a man...I'll answer them first:

Get your seat belts on, this is gonna be a ride :X

1. Woman overpowering man.
Ans. Can be done. Generally men keep their guard down when it comes to women.
Many other factors such as surprise of a woman attacking a man or getting into a brawl not being common for the man... or woman really being powerful in a fit of rage/lust.

2. Why didnt the man fight back?
a. because it was a woman and its confusing / shocking and b. its shocking that you'd expect a lady guest to sexually assault you
c. Bcos if it was a dude, a man would probably punch fist into his jaw.. but if he did the same for a woman.. he is asking for more trouble legally.

3. How can a woman sexually assault?
Ans. You gotta be kidding me right? A sexual assault is not necessarily penetration sex.. it can be forced kissing, grabbing private parts or pulling the man in to take sexual favors on her private parts/body.

4. How can a woman rape? I don't believe it.
Ans. Medically, Just like a woman's body is prone to react to penetration during rape, by secreting vaginal lubricating fluids, allowing penetration to be less painful; doesnt mean she is allowing the rape....similarly even a man can get an erection, even if lets say his privates were being forcibly stimulated.
There could be numerous reasons including that the man may actually be into BSDM in his normal life.. but then THAT doesn't make him consenting to the rape.
His body is reacting, but his mind could still be not wanting it.
You can compare this to scenarios between 2 lovers where in either 1. a male is having sex with his female.. even though he is not in mood, just to satisfy her.. and so ends up not reaching climax.. where as the female reaches climax. or 2. a female not in mood for sex, being stimulated by her male partner and she lubricates and gives in.. could as well as end up having climax.

Just because you have no knowledge of how human body works biologically, doesn't mean that it cannot happen.
It only means you have very little knowledge; doesn't change the way nature works human body.

*End of my reply on that thread*

Need more proof?.. like a news article/medical journal? .. since you might be thinking what does this guy know? In that case please use google/search engines. There are cases.. there is medical explanation (which is complex form of how I answered that forum), there are women who have been jailed for it.

I didn’t have to google to write up this post(except the images I put in this post) because, I have grown up questioning everything that intrigued me, before I can mark things off as logical/illogical.
I spent my school/college years offending my teachers by asking them “Why can’t it be this way.. since ..blah blah my theory about why it can be done another way”.
I keep my mind open to receiving knowledge and I read about stuff, science, nature and how things happen/do not happen rather than being in denial of anything that I haven’t heard earlier.

So for friends who just corrected their double standard after reading this.. or friends who didn’t have one to start with.. you have my respect for using your brains.

And people/friends who are probably laughing at this post, or not willing to accept a fact and correct your unintended/intended double standard.. then please feel free to “unfriend” me.
I don’t like to keep company of people who can laugh at someone’s suffering.


December 18, 2012

Riding bike with your girlfriend/wife pillion?

Sick and bed ridden, I was just browsing through facebook and youtube and I came across this really good video
He talks about the dos and dont’s when you have a pillion (he has his girlfriend as pillion in that video) … and it reminded me of my bike rides with my ex.

I never crossed 40mph in city riding when my ex was pillion… and she sometimes complained why I don’t drive like when I do a solo ride(over 100mph or even fast enough).
She probably never understood that I just couldn’t risk her life like I did with mine driving solo on a bike.
If there were to be a crash, I’d prefer that she walks away safe and if there needs to be a death then let that be mine.


So here are some tips for those “boyfriends” or “husbands” who love their (respective) “girlfriends” or “wifes”:

1. Buy proper riding gear for both .. dont buy awesome helmet for yourself and stupid roadside one for your wife.
Helmets are Very Very Important.
Infact, if i remember right, both our helmets (ex and me) were half faced.
I’d prefer full face protection for her, but she complained of suffocation when we went to choose helmet and she tried a full face one.
Her helmet had an inbuilt tinted goggles and a double top up full face visor and costed 1.5x more than mine,was IS-4151 approved. Infact, my first one was a fake ISO approved (there is no ISO standard for helmets) and I made sure that I didn’t do the same mistake when we picked one for her.

So if you love your girl, get her equal(considering your’s is not crappy) or better stuff.

If you have the buck, consider getting more than just helmets.. buy riding jackets, riding shoes, gloves, spine protectors, knee guards …….. and yes very importantly, not just for yourself.. but for your girl too.


2. What if you don’t have two helmets? Then give the one you have to your girl.. even if she is pillion
Happened to me when I sold my bike and gave away my helmet and then she got a scooter .. which if we both went out I’d drive. I always preferred she wear the helmet, but she would complain of stuff like hair, headache and have me wear it. So there are times I managed to get her to wear it, and times I couldn’t.
And only I know the nervousness I had driving the times when the helmet was on my head and not hers. (Even though I’m an experienced rider, I used to pray that I see her back home safe)


3. Proper/Good quality shoes
Very important. The first thing that a rider hits when falling off a sliding vehicle on accident is foot fingers.
Your fingers can scrape and you can end up loosing foot fingers, broken ankle, damaged Achilles heel and what not.

When my ex was just learning her scooter, I took her to shoe store and forced her to pick out a proper shoe.
It was white/blue girl style, proper protection, ample ankle, shin and heel padding.
She used it once or twice max and then they lay in the shoe rack forever eating dust.

Moral of the story for me: You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink

But seriously, try to talk to your girl and make her understand that why that 2 mins of time of wearing a shoe is better than walking handicapped for rest of the life.


4. Know your speed limit

You may ride at 100mph doing solo on the bike, but if you have your girl behind.. please be responsible.
The flick-ability of a motorcycle gets worse when you have a pillion on it.
If she is asking for more speed, you should only know that she hasn’t experienced a crash before… and you should be wise to know that you don’t want her to experience that pain (if you love her that is 😉 )

Don’t try to show your manhood by zipping fast/rash (its more like you dont have manhood since you’re having to prove it by zipping fast)

And if you think your girl thinks less manly of you since you dont speed, then let her just leave.
Trust me, if you love her.. its better to see her safe than be handicapped.. even if it means she leaves you. It’ll only mean she had a peanut size brain and it can’t be helped. But you can ensure her safety.


5. If you have a sports bike, then show her proper riding position
Riding position on sports bike is way different from normal commuter bikes.
If both you and your pillion do not know the positions, then you could easily crash.
Here this video shows how

6. Safety for her before she gets on to the bike
Make sure you have both your feet firmly on the ground and both your hands on handlebars when she is mounting the bike. Don’t showoff/try to be a hero by holding no handlebars…even if you are fucking tall.. if the bike tips due to irregular tarmac/mud on the road…. her head will be the first to hit the ground. You on the other hand will be the safest since your legs will grip the tank due to body reflex.


7. Safety for her before YOU get off the bike
So you did a great job while she was getting on the bike, but managed to kick her when you got off the bike… isn’t really a happy scene.
Make sure she steps safely far away after getting off the bike before you swing your leg, ensuring that you don’t end up kicking her face/body.


8. Take care of her dress
Make sure you check that her dress isn’t getting stuck in the wheel. (So common with Indian dresses having chunnis/sarees/dupattas)
It could get stuck in the wheel and tighten on her throat, hence suffocate her and the force of pull could throw her off the bike too.
They may/maynot have the brains to think of all this.. but you should.


9. Protect her against cold wind, dust and pollution
A helmet again plays a role here blocking most of the pollution, but other than that you should block her from oncoming dust wind.
If you see a dust road ahead, ask her to shut her eyes/hide behind your back.

If it’s a cold wind/weather, make sure she has a warm jacket even if it means you have to take off yours and give it to her. Just give it.. no second thoughts on this one.


10. Keep her back-ache in mind
Back aches are pretty common for sport bikers, and more so for female pillion because of strenuousness in riding position and their other biological issues.
So slow down once in a while on straight road, let her sit straight up and relax her back.
It is very painful to see your girl go through backpain, so only imaging how painful it is to her who is bearing it.


11. Communicate
Every once in a while, especially during long rides.. be caring and ask her if she is comfortable, if she needs to take a break, if she needs you to drive slower, if she needs to attend a nature call and so on.
She might just be enduring some discomfort and still not saying anything.
Girls seem to feel that they are doing a sacrifice by enduring something that way, No its not.
Real men shouldn’t be needing her to do those. It is far better to ask her to point out immediately if something is a discomfort rather than endure it.

Overall pay attention to minor things(that can turn major threat) for your girlfriend/wife.


12. Try to take this attitude in normal life too… not just while biking.
Be considerate.. put her before yourself.
She may not do the same, she may treat you as least important and rate you in chart of importance after all her blood relations, friends or whatever….but then that only means she doesn’t love you as much as you love her.
But still, “as long as it lasts”… put her before yourself.
Don’t just “say it”, empty words don’t make sense.. “do it”.

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